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REAGANROCKS
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Name: Iva
Location: Kansas City, Kansas, United States
Birthday: 2/20/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I love spending time with my boyfriend, Mikey!!! I enjoy school, walking, talking, breathing, and changing my socks!!!
Expertise: Im really good with kids, I love um! I found that I am really good at algebra and I kinda think it is fun...lol..I know, WEIRD! I am good at listening to people's problems and showing deep affection!!!!! And last, but certainly not least, I am good at falling and breaking bones. DONT BUY A SILKY COMFORTER!!!!!!! Thats words of wisdom!!!
Occupation: FULL TIME STUDENT - - - with g
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: luvsfromjesus@hotmail.com
Member Since:
6/28/2005
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| After a rough month, I have realized how important my life is. I know for me, I get caught up in stress around me and I forget to take care of myself. Negative thoughts about myself and my life control me at times, but it's time for change. I am learning to read positive affirmations everyday to put me on the right track and change my mind set to positive thinking and self talk. I want to live and be happy, I don't want to be in a depressed state for the rest of my life. I am ready to do this. I also forget how blessed I am. I have great family and friends, live in a nice house, have a car, etc. I want to be the best that I can be. I know God has a lot of great things in store for me and knowing that, I know deep down that life is only going to get better from this point. I am learning to accept the mistakes that I have made and move on. It's hard, of course, but if I hold on to past mistakes it will just send me in a deep depression and that is not positive thinking. I am learning to accept myself for the person I am and make the changes I need to be the best person I can be. Healthy living is what I am aiming for. I don't want to be dependent anymore. I want to be free from that and live my life. None of this is easy to do, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I hurt sometimes about things that has happened in the past, but I feel with each step forward the pain won't be there as much. I want to be healthy enough to have a relationship someday. I want kids someday. I know that will happen in time. I just got keep my head up and keep moving forward. Loving my Dandelions, Iva | | |
| So, haven't been on here for awhile. I am doing so well. God has completely changed my life. My relationship with him is compassionate and full of love. He has truly healed me. I am the happiest girl in the world!!! I am taking classes at Fort Scott Community College. May of 2011, I will officially have my Associate of Science. I am super excited! It's crazy how God teaches us. I was so down for two years...I was actually in the worst place of my life, but God taught me so much in such raging storm. He taught me to love again. He taught me what was really important in life. He taught me about strength in Jesus Christ. He taught me so much and I am still learning. Just recently I started to feel love again. My Mom would hold me, but I couldn't feel her love at all. I was so numb inside. I finally turned to God and now, through him, I feel love again. I feel my Mom's love again. It's so amazing to me how great our God is. So, that's the update!!! | | |
| Here I go again. Negative thoughts keep running through my mind. I wish it would all cease and forever go away. I just want to run and hide to a place where nobody can find me. Perhaps, that is how I feel now. I have run away from you, God, like a child full of fear. Questions, doubt and tiring thoughts cross my mind. I feel like Satan has over powered the situation. “And we know that in all these things that God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. “ Romans 8:28. I must stand on your word. My selfish thoughts seem to get the best of me at times, but I must turn to you. I must turn to you to make my future bright…create me into the servant you want me to be. I will keep fighting! I will never give up! Jesus! In the name of Jesus! Rescue me from this dark night. Rescue me from this pain and loneliness. I need you…I need you Daddy. It’s fathers day and as I sat in church, my heart was full of sorrow for not having an earthly father. How quickly do I forget that you are all I need. Take me away from this place of self-focus. I am healed in the name of Jesus. I want to just quote and quote your scripture. I must learn to follow you. You sent your son to die for me? I felt so unimportant, but now I see. Please God save me from this misery. “Why’s” fill my life. The “why’s” fill my life with utter disruption. You are amazing God…let me not live by feelings but by your grace and mercy. May you teach me your ways and hold me when I am weak. Change the color of the sky. Change my heart, O God. I love you. | | |
| Amongst the feelings I have. I find peace. Peace that saturates my soul and makes me thirst for more. My eyes are beginning to open and see what God has in store for me. Nervous? Yes. Scared? Never. The words to describe you is difficult. The beauty of your presence in my life is what truly fills my heart with joy. Step by step and day by day, I long for more of you in my life. Thank you for my life although it's tiring at times. Thank you for letting me bathe in your holiness. I need you, Jesus. All the pain, suffering, feeling ashamed...I give it to you. Dance and sing in my heart. Set my heart on fire. Create me to be the servant you want me to be.
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| Where do I begin. Where must I start to complete this task. I look at you and see beauty far beyond any artistic means. You paid the most awful price. Every moment, even till your last longing breathe faded away in the air while others yelled words of hate for you. You did that for me, my precious love? Hold me, Jesus, hold me. I am forgiven because you were forsaken. I'm accepted, you were condemed. How can I ever face you Jesus? I feel like I have betrayed you this last 5 years. I think about the way you danced in my heart...your melody was sweet and comforting. I am safe in your arms. I miss you when I fall. I miss you when I destroy your temple. I miss you when I cry, but don't cry out your name. I miss you when I feel abondon in the raging storm. I miss you now yet I hear you say, "my love, I am here."
Lord,
Thank you for my life. Thank you for my health and thank you for the many blessings in my life.
I want to share a blessing. Parents are blessings. I think of my butter cream Raquel (aka Mama Lawrence). How she would always tease me, but loved me when she knew I needed it. It's like she could feel my hurt. I remember only two months ago, Raquel was sitting by me as Dana and my mom was praying for healing for me. It was my turn and I said, "Jesus, I just want to say your name a million times"....I said, "Amen" and opened my eyes. Right there, right infront of me, I saw my sweet mama crying. I fought back the tears because then, in that moment, I was truly loved and not like somebody that was never wanted in her life. Raquel will never know the depth of love I have for her. The thought of her name brings up so many memories, fond memories, memories of my friend. I am proud to be her sister/friend/daughter.
April, my sweet and loving mother. The love for you is also deep. I was your baby girl. Your brown eyed little girl. My head pressed to your chest, I can remember the feeling. The feeling of deep affection and heartfelt tears that pierced my forehead. You never understood why...how could my father have hurt your little girl so.? Only if you had known. Mom, I would have ran to you if I wasnt so ashamed. With your steady hold on me, I felt protected from this ugly world. I love you.
My beautiful, smart, big sissy, Kay. The ache in my heart was gone when you would comfort me with a Green Day song. Your soft, gentle, sweet and beautiful voice singing to me. I felt as if I were in heaven. I felt that I was by you. I love you, Sissy...I will always love you and nobody can ever take the place of you in my heart. You remain the sweetheart you are. Never let anybody take away that fact that you are a survivor. A survivor that reached far beyond anybodys expectations. I thank you for caring for me and loving me so much.
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